eOpicle

There are few things more predictably American than politicians suddenly discovering “the sanctity of democracy” five minutes after a court ruling inconveniences them. Not healthcare. Not housing. Not wages. Not infrastructure. Not the slow collapse of public trust into a radioactive puddle of algorithmically amplified tribalism. No. The one thing that still gets both parties sprinting into action like caffeinated raccoons fighting over a French fry is congressional maps. And this week’s episode of Democracy: The Reality Show Nobody Can Cancel delivered another beautiful spectacle: Virginia Democrats filing a motion asking for a stay in a map ruling while Donald Trump celebrated the decision like he’d personally liberated Europe. Naturally. Because in modern America, every judicial ruling is either “a historic triumph for the Constitution” or “an existential threat to democracy,” depending entirely on whose side of the district line you happen to live on. I watched the whole thin...