eOpicle

Every year around hurricane season, I witness the same ritual unfold across Florida. People who haven't checked their emergency supplies since the last presidential administration suddenly sprint into stores like contestants on a game show called Supermarket Apocalypse . Shopping carts collide. Bottled water vanishes. Someone buys seventeen loaves of bread despite having no clear plan for why bread becomes the cornerstone of survival during a tropical cyclone. And every year, a hurricane somewhere in the Atlantic gently reminds us that Mother Nature does not care about our confidence, our weather apps, or the fact that we just got the patio furniture arranged perfectly. Welcome to Florida's 2026 hurricane season. If you live here long enough, you'll eventually meet two dangerous types of people. The first is the newcomer who treats every tropical depression like the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. The second is the lifelong resident who says things like: "I...