The Night I Realized My Drink Needed More Protection Than My Data
I didn’t expect to feel safer reading a municipal ordinance than walking into a bar. And yet, here we are. Somewhere between scanning QR codes for menus, double-checking if my Uber driver matches the license plate, and pretending I understand what “craft bitters” actually are, I found myself reading about how the City of Chandler has decided that maybe—just maybe—people shouldn’t have to treat their cocktails like unsecured Wi-Fi networks. Apparently, that’s a revolutionary idea now. The Era of “Don’t Blink, Don’t Sip” Let me paint the scene. You’re out. You finally agreed to leave your house. You put on something decent. You showed up. You even made eye contact with strangers—heroic behavior, honestly. You order a drink. It arrives. It looks harmless enough. Maybe even photogenic. You take one sip. And then your brain, now permanently trained by a combination of true crime podcasts and group chat paranoia, whispers: “Don’t look away.” So now you’re guarding your drink like...
