Ah yes, it’s that magical time of year again. The sun is shining, the ice cream truck’s song haunts your dreams, and Target is already trying to gaslight you into buying a 24-pack of highlighters “just in case” your fifth grader spontaneously decides to become an interior designer.
That’s right, folks—back-to-school shopping is back, and it brought a receipt the length of a CVS coupon roll. But hey, good news! You’re probably going to spend slightly less than last year. A whole two percent less! According to the National Retail Federation, the average family will be dropping $858.07 per child this year.
That's right—eight hundred and fifty-eight dollars and seven cents. Because heaven forbid your child shows up to algebra without a graphing calculator that doubles as a Netflix portal and heart rate monitor.
Let’s Break That Down (So You Can Cry More Specifically)
According to the NRF survey (which polled 7,600 people who had probably just maxed out their third credit card), here’s how that back-to-school budget slices up:
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$295.81 on electronics.
Because of course, little Timmy needs a Chromebook, AirPods, and a backup iPad for when he gets “eye strain” during Zoom math class. -
$249.36 on clothing.
Not bad, until you remember that kids now think Lululemon is a basic brand. Apparently, if your kid isn’t wearing a limited-edition Nike-Dunk collab with a hoodie that costs more than your monthly car payment, they’re practically being bullied by the Wi-Fi. -
$6.6 billion total on school supplies.
Because we all know how crucial it is to stock up on four different types of glue, two hundred pre-sharpened pencils, and a five-subject notebook they’ll use for exactly one week before declaring it “too bendy.” -
$7.8 billion on shoes.
Look, if the shoes don’t light up, bounce, or make them TikTok-famous, why even bother?
So yes, the spending is technically down from last year. But we’re talking a 2% difference. That’s like saying your house is “slightly less on fire” this year. Cool. Still burning, Brenda.
Inflation Is Down! (Just Kidding. Sort Of.)
The NRF wants you to feel good about this. “You’re spending less! See? We care!” But let’s be honest—this isn’t frugality, it’s fatigue. After years of hyperinflation, shrinkflation, gas price whiplash, and watching eggs become luxury items, Americans are simply too tired to hemorrhage cash like they used to.
You’re not shopping smarter. You’re just maxed out. If back-to-school shopping were a subscription, most parents would have hit “cancel and never ask again.”
And yet, here we are, pretending $858 is some sort of relief. That’s the price of a weekend getaway, a month of rent in the Midwest, or approximately 0.003 bedrooms in San Francisco.
Tech: The New Lunchbox
Let’s talk about electronics for a second. Remember when going back to school meant getting a new Trapper Keeper and a pack of Lisa Frank stickers? Yeah, well now it means dropping three Benjamins on digital accessories so your child can do “homework” while simultaneously watching Minecraft streams and arguing with ChatGPT about whether Shakespeare plagiarized Hamilton.
Remote learning might be “over,” but the tech addiction is here to stay. Schools now require students to have their own tablets, laptops, headphones, and possibly a small drone just in case P.E. becomes fully autonomous.
Oh, and let’s not forget the “optional” accessories, like wireless styluses and Bluetooth keyboards. Optional in the same way that breathing is.
Clothing: Now With Peer Pressure Pricing™
Back-to-school fashion used to mean new jeans, a few shirts, and maybe—maybe—a fresh pair of sneakers. Now? It’s a full-blown runway show, and your kid is Kendall Jenner.
Apparently, kids grow out of their clothes and their self-esteem every six weeks, and it’s your job to keep up. Never mind that your child spent the last three months wearing the same three crusty outfits from summer camp—they now demand a full wardrobe refresh because "Emily said I'm giving off Dollar General vibes."
And who can blame them? Social media has turned middle school into an episode of Euphoria, minus the HBO budget and, well, adult supervision. If your child’s first-day fit doesn’t trend on TikTok, was it even worth it?
School Supplies: The Annual Scamathon
Let’s not pretend the basic school supplies haven’t become part of a quiet nationwide hustle.
Oh, you thought you were just buying pens and paper? Nope. You're now purchasing 14 types of folders (each with a different pocket configuration), a three-hole punch “with ergonomic grip,” and dry erase markers in “non-masculine colors” so your kid doesn’t get bullied in STEM class.
And God help you if your child’s classroom has individual supply bins. You’re now funding a full Staples aisle for not just your kid, but also for the “forgot-their-stuff” crowd.
This year’s school supplies shopping list reads less like “things you’ll use” and more like a ransom note from the Office Depot mafia.
Shoes: Not Just For Walking
$7.8 billion on shoes? For kids who will outgrow them before Halloween?
Absolutely.
Because kids don’t wear shoes to walk. They wear shoes to signal their social rank.
Sneaker culture has officially trickled down to grade school, where children can identify a counterfeit pair of Jordans from 100 feet away and will absolutely roast your son in front of the cafeteria if he shows up in off-brand Velcro kicks.
And if you're hoping for hand-me-downs, think again. Your youngest has already declared their sibling's Converse “cursed.”
Early Shopping? More Like Panic Buying
Two-thirds of families have already started shopping—and it’s not because they’re “planning ahead.” It’s because every parent has PTSD from last year when the only remaining lunchboxes were either Paw Patrol or ironically political.
You think you can wait until August? Cute.
By mid-July, the shelves are ransacked like there’s a hurricane coming. You’re left scavenging for half-price highlighters and wondering if your kid can survive the year with a Peppa Pig backpack ironically rebranded as “vintage.”
Retailers love to call this “early trend adoption.” We call it fear-based consumer manipulation. Tomato, tomahto.
So What’s the Solution?
Honestly? There isn’t one. You could try:
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Reusing supplies (but good luck convincing your child to bring back last year’s spiral notebook with a bent corner and a doodle of a sad robot on the cover).
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Thrift shopping (where your child will find “nothing cool” and sulk like you’re personally ruining their life).
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Limiting screen-related purchases (until the school sends you that passive-aggressive email saying your child is “unable to access essential content” without an iPad Pro and a data plan).
You could go full “Pinterest Mom” and DIY everything, but you will burn out faster than a scented candle in a Florida classroom.
Final Thoughts: Just Give the School Your Wallet
Let’s be honest. Modern back-to-school shopping is basically a second Christmas, except there’s no tree, no cookies, and no one says thank you.
And while you technically saved a whole $16 this year compared to last year, you’ll likely still end up drowning in receipts and existential dread by mid-August.
Because here’s the truth: you’re not just buying supplies. You’re buying social armor, academic clout, and enough electronics to survive a minor EMP.
But hey, at least your child will show up to their first day of school fully equipped to ignore their teachers in style.
Snarky Shopping Tips (Because Why Not?):
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Go “accidentally” early. Mid-June? Perfect. Pretend you were “just browsing” and grab the good stuff before the desperate crowd rolls in.
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Make peace with generic. Your child will survive with a plain blue notebook. If not, they’re building character.
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Stockpile glue sticks now. They will vanish. You’ll find yourself bartering with other parents like it’s the school supply black market.
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Team up. Start a text chain with other parents. Coordinate sales. Share Target coupons like your lives depend on it. Because they do.
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Let your kid pick one overpriced thing. It gives them control, and you get to say no to everything else without feeling like a monster.
TL;DR (For Parents Already Crying Into Their Lattes):
Back-to-school shopping this year is still outrageous, even if it’s technically “down.” You're expected to spend almost $900 per child, mostly on tech and clothes, with a side of capitalism-induced nausea.
But at least now you can call it what it is: a budgetary hostage situation wrapped in a glittery pencil case.
Happy shopping, America.