If you ever needed a week that perfectly captured the modern American experience—one part exhaustion, one part disbelief, and twelve parts wondering whether someone accidentally placed a Hallmark movie script and an extinction-level event briefing in the same file—you’ve found it. Because this week, the Trump administration decided to speed-run its environmental policy ambitions like a teenager trying to beat a video game before dinner. Wetlands? Optional. Endangered species? Inconvenient. Offshore drilling? Absolutely—preferably in locations where the sun literally sets at weird angles and the word infrastructure is pronounced with the same energy as faith-based improvisation.
While negotiators from nearly 200 nations gathered in Brazil to attempt that quaint, old-fashioned thing called “saving the Earth,” the U.S. decided to sit this one out, like a toddler refusing to come inside for bath time because he found a “really cool rock.” Meanwhile, back home, a parade of federal agencies announced policy rollbacks so sweeping that you could almost hear the bald eagles filing workplace grievances.
So buckle in, refill your beverage of choice, and prepare to revisit the week when U.S. environmental policy took a look at the past fifty years of progress and said, “You know what? Let’s try being a 19th-century extractive frontier economy again. This time, with Wi-Fi.”
MONDAY: THE CLEAN WATER ACT MEETS ITS MATCH
We begin with water, that famously optional component of human existence.
On Monday, the Environmental Protection Agency proposed a bold new interpretation of “waters of the United States”: namely, that most waters do not count. This includes millions of acres of wetlands and streams—those pesky geographical features that refuse to stop existing just because someone wants to build a strip mall or a tire distribution center with “strong patriotic energy.”
Federal protections? Gone. Permits? Overrated. Pollution safeguards? Didn’t your grandparents survive without bottled water? So what are you complaining about?
The Natural Resources Defense Council estimated that up to 55 million acres of wetlands could lose federal protection. That’s 85 percent of all wetlands nationwide. Eighty-five percent. For reference: imagine your arteries losing 85 percent of their ability to carry blood. Could you still technically function? Sure—for about six minutes.
This change is great news for people who own large swaths of land and love pouring things into puddles. Senator Cynthia Lummis of Wyoming helpfully reminded us that “farmers, ranchers and landowners shouldn’t have every puddle or gully regulated by D.C. bureaucrats.” A touching sentiment, especially if you’ve ever gazed longingly at a ditch and thought, I wish I could dump stuff in that without anyone asking questions.
And honestly, why stop there? Why not deregulate the atmosphere? Just tell people the sky is a personal freedom zone.
TUESDAY: A BRIEF MOMENT OF QUIET, WHICH WAS WORSE
Nothing official happened on Tuesday.
This made Tuesday the most terrifying day of all.
When an administration prides itself on velocity, silence becomes a threat. It’s the political equivalent of the sudden quiet before the cat knocks your grandmother’s heirloom vase off the table. Something was coming—and, oh, did it arrive.
WEDNESDAY: THE ENDANGERED SPECIES ACT GETS “MODERNIZED” (WHICH APPARENTLY MEANS ENDANGERED SPECIES SHOULD LEARN TO HUSTLE)
Wednesday brought a revision to the Endangered Species Act so breathtakingly disposable that the bald eagle itself probably blinked twice in confusion.
Under the new proposals, when deciding whether a species should be listed as endangered, the government can now consider economic factors. This includes such delicate assessments as:
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“How much oil revenue might we lose if the last 42 remaining members of this species insist on living near oil infrastructure?”
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“Is this fish financially pulling its weight as an American?”
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“Could this tiny bird maybe get a job?”
Previously, decisions were based on “the best available science,” a phrase that apparently triggered some kind of deep emotional crisis. Now, decision-makers can thoughtfully weigh scientific consensus against, say, a PowerPoint from an oil lobbyist designed in 2013 using WordArt.
To add insult to injury, this announcement dropped the same day Trump signed legislation to make Justice Department files on Jeffrey Epstein public. Naturally, the endangered species news was buried beneath that avalanche. Imagine being a critically endangered mussel whose fate is tied to the same news cycle as one of the most infamous criminal cases of the century.
But Harvard environmental law professor Andrew Mergen gently reminded everyone that ignoring this news would be a mistake. If the rules go through, species will be lost “in a death-by-a-thousand-cuts way,” which is exactly the kind of phrase you want to hear when evaluating national environmental strategy.
THURSDAY: THE INTERIOR DEPARTMENT DECIDES THE OCEAN IS LONELY AND NEEDS HUNDREDS OF LEASE SALES
If you thought Monday and Wednesday were dramatic, Thursday arrived like a Broadway villain with a fog machine.
The Interior Department proposed 34 new offshore drilling lease sales across 1.27 billion acres of federal waters. That’s more than half the size of the United States. It’s also roughly enough water to drown the memory of whatever environmental policy existed before 2016.
California would be forced to hold six lease sales—though Governor Gavin Newsom has promised to block any related permits. Which means we’re essentially auctioning off real estate that no one can access, like selling tickets to a concert where the venue refuses to unlock the doors. Innovative capitalism at its finest.
The Gulf of Mexico gets seven lease sales, because apparently it hasn’t suffered enough. Meanwhile, Alaska gets 21 sales, including the “high Arctic,” a region where the environment is so fragile you can harm it by exhaling too aggressively.
But the real star of this saga is the Rice’s whale, a critically endangered species with fewer than 100 individuals left. These whales occupy a habitat right where drilling interest is highest. Their population was devastated by the 2010 Deepwater Horizon disaster. Now, the federal government seems interested in speed-testing how quickly a species can vanish while still being considered “endangered.”
Marine mammal experts have pointed out, repeatedly, that seismic surveys for oil and gas exploration stress whales. But don’t worry—Trump has already solved this. He confidently proclaimed that wind turbines are the real threat to whales, because apparently physics, acoustics, and marine biology can all be dismissed with one well-timed shrug.
A WEEK OF POLICY WHIPLASH
Combine the wetlands rollback, the endangered species shakeup, and the offshore drilling bonanza, and what do you get? A week that environmental law professor Pat Parenteau politely described as “the week from hell for environmental policy.” Which is restrained language, considering what he probably wanted to say.
The White House, however, framed the week as a triumph. Spokeswoman Taylor Rogers proudly declared that the announcements furthered America’s “energy dominance agenda.” Which is one way to describe drilling in previously untouched Arctic waters. Another way is: “We’ve run out of normal places to poke holes in, so now let’s try the ones scientists begged us to leave alone.”
The rollout was so fast that even industry groups seemed a little winded. Oil companies, chemical manufacturers, and home builders all applauded the changes, presumably while high-fiving in conference rooms made of endangered hardwoods.
MEANWHILE, IN BRAZIL: THE REST OF THE WORLD PRETENDS EVERYTHING IS FINE
While all this was happening back home, representatives from nearly 200 countries gathered in Brazil for the annual U.N. climate summit. You may know this event by its other name: The Only Time All Year When World Leaders Pretend They’re Capable of Long-Term Thinking.
The United States boycotted the summit this year—the first time we’ve ever done that. It’s like skipping your own intervention. Everyone else is sitting in a circle, emotionally exhausted, reaching out a hand, and the U.S. is outside the window revving a diesel engine.
Inside the summit, diplomats attempted to negotiate improvements to global climate policy, reduce emissions, and strengthen commitments to protect vulnerable ecosystems. Outside, the U.S. was busy redefining wetlands in a way that would make a 7th-grade geography teacher cry.
THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD
If you were wondering whether the administration intended to downplay the dramatic nature of these changes, E.P.A. administrator Lee Zeldin removed all doubt. He proudly claimed the agency’s goal was to write regulations that would be “durable and withstand future swings of presidential elections.”
Translation: Even if you elect someone who understands what carbon is, too late—we’re bolting this deregulation to the floorboards.
He then boasted that 2025 may break records for environmental rollbacks, noting that “at least half of the president’s deregulation agenda” runs through the E.P.A.
That’s correct: the agency created to protect the environment is now the primary vehicle for dismantling environmental protections. It’s like hiring a dentist who advertises “teeth extraction for sport.”
THE ECOLOGICAL HANGOVER
What happens now?
If finalized, the rollbacks will take years to unwind—assuming the courts intervene, elections shift power, and environmental groups manage to win dozens of simultaneous legal battles while still having enough energy left to drink coffee in the morning.
If upheld, these changes will shape everything from how we protect our rivers to whether certain whale species exist in 2030.
And even if future administrations restore the protections, this year’s damage will linger. Ecosystems don’t operate on election cycles. Coral reefs don’t vote. Wetlands don’t attend press briefings. Species can’t file injunctions while being bulldozed.
Human policy moves at election speed. Nature moves at geologic speed. This tension usually ends poorly for nature.
THE IRONY THAT COULD POWER A WIND TURBINE
There’s a special kind of poetry in claiming to protect whales by blocking offshore wind farms while simultaneously opening new oil drilling sites in their habitat. It’s like telling someone you refuse to let them eat salad because you care deeply about their digestive system, then handing them a deep-fried bowling ball.
The same pattern holds across the entire week:
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Claim to protect farmers → remove protections that keep their drinking water safe
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Claim to reduce regulation → increase the risk of environmental disasters that cost billions
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Claim to support energy independence → deepen reliance on the same fossil fuel systems that destabilize global politics every five minutes
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Claim that climate activists fell for “the biggest scam of the century” → announce policies that risk the extinction of multiple species
It is a masterclass in doublethink. Orwell would blush.
THE WEEK THAT EXPLAINED EVERYTHING
This week wasn’t just a series of policy announcements. It was a worldview, distilled.
A worldview that sees natural resources as unlimited, ecosystems as negotiable, science as optional, environmental laws as outdated, and the planet as an annoying roommate who keeps asking you not to set things on fire.
A worldview that interprets a climate summit attended by 200 nations as “radical activism” while interpreting the demolition of wetlands as merely “Monday.”
A worldview that answers every ecological question with the same two-word solution: “Drill more.”
A worldview that makes extinction an acceptable side effect of industrial convenience.
SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US?
In the immediate term, somewhere between “deeply alarmed” and “googling how to build a personal biosphere.” But long-term, this week may be remembered as a catalyst.
People tend to mobilize when the stakes become impossible to ignore. And environmental rollbacks—like melting glaciers, disappearing species, and rivers that spontaneously combust—have a way of clarifying what matters.
Courts will get involved. Voters will get involved. Activists will certainly get involved. Scientists will continue screaming into the politely folded hands of congressional committees.
And eventually, policy will swing again, as it always does. The question is how much damage will be done in the meantime. Because ecosystems don’t get rain checks. Species don’t get do-overs. And wetlands don’t magically re-grow after being treated like disposable napkins.
This week was a warning. A loud one. The kind you can hear over the sound of seismic blasting in the Gulf of Mexico.
FINAL THOUGHT: THE PLANET ALWAYS RESPONDS—OUR ONLY CHOICE IS HOW MUCH WE LIKE THE ANSWER
The administration promised that these rollbacks would show the world the meaning of American “energy dominance.” And indeed, they will.
But dominance always comes with a bill.
You can dominate your rivers, your wetlands, your whales, your atmosphere. You can override decades of scientific consensus, sideline conservation efforts, expand drilling, and weaken protections.
But eventually, the land responds.
The water responds.
The climate responds.
The whales, if they survive, respond.
Nature always replies.
We just don’t get to negotiate the terms.
And that’s the real headline of the week.