eOpicle

There’s a specific kind of silence that settles over a restaurant after it closes. It’s not the peaceful quiet of a place that’s finished its work. It’s the awkward, haunted hush of a dining room that once promised an experience and now offers only square footage and a faint smell of ambition. As of January 18, that silence belongs to Alias , the modern American eatery in Vint Hill that just last year basked in the glow of being named one of Northern Virginia Magazine’s 50 Best Restaurants of 2025. Yes, that Alias. The one with the tasting menus. The one with the reverent language about local sourcing and seasonality. The one where scallops were described with the kind of poetic intensity usually reserved for doomed lovers in a Victorian novel. Closed. Permanently. Lights out. Menu retired. Another “unforgettable chapter” quietly boxed up and sent to storage. If this feels familiar, that’s because it is. Northern Virginia’s dining scene has become a revolving door of beautifully d...

The holidays are a magical time of year. And by “magical,” I mean that strange period when otherwise functional adults lose their minds over table settings, spend three days arguing about green bean casserole, and pretend they can taste the difference between two wines that cost under twenty bucks. And every December, like a seasonal fungus, the “perfect pairing” people pop up again. You’ve seen them. They’re always hovering near the cheese board, swirling a glass of wine like they’re auditioning for a perfume commercial, whispering things like, “The brine really enhances the minerality.” Meanwhile, you’re just trying to sneak a second deviled egg without judgment. Let me save you the suspense: there is no such thing as a perfect food and drink pairing. If there were, humanity wouldn’t have survived this long drinking boxed wine with pizza and whatever beer was coldest with whatever food was closest. That’s the system that built civilization. Not sommeliers. Not tasting notes. Not t...

🍇 Welcome to the Land of Gourmet Guilt Ah, Santa Cruz County — where the coastline sparkles, the people glow (thanks, kombucha), and the food scene operates on the assumption that calories don’t count if they’re local. Every week, someone somewhere is hosting a tasting, a tour, or a dinner so organic it probably apologizes when you eat it. This week’s lineup (Oct. 10–16) is an all-you-can-eat buffet of local pride and fermented beverages. Lily Belli’s curated list offers a smorgasbord of events guaranteed to make your taste buds weep and your bank account file for emotional support. Let’s take a snarky stroll through the highlights — because nothing says “community spirit” like artisanal small plates and $99 tickets for the privilege of pretending you can still fit into your jeans afterward. 🥂 Gourmet Grazing on the Green: Where Wine Meets Wallet Pain Saturday, Aptos Village Park transforms into the epicenter of indulgence with Gourmet Grazing on the Green , a fundraiser for th...

Welcome aboard, ye landlubbers, Disney adults, and people who pretend they’re “only here for the kids” but secretly want to slam back cocktails in a fake pirate cave. Gather round, for I have survived a perilous voyage into Walt Disney World’s latest experiment in pirate-themed capitalism: The Beak and Barrel , Magic Kingdom’s first official bar. Yes, you read that correctly — the Magic Kingdom, the land that up until now treated alcohol like it was Voldemort, finally caved and said, “Fine, let’s put a tavern in the pirate ride. They’re going to sneak Fireball in their Hydro Flasks anyway.” The press release made it sound like we were about to step into a swashbuckling fever dream where Captain Jack serves you rum while an animatronic parrot curses in 17th-century slang. What we actually got? A 45-minute, two-drink-maximum sprint through Disney’s latest carefully calibrated attempt to drain your wallet while you thank them for the privilege. And I ate every bite, drank every overpric...

Santa Cruz County is at it again. For one glorious week, the land of kombucha-brewing surfers, dreadlocked trust-fund kids, and retirees who “totally remember Woodstock” will transform itself into a food-and-drink Disneyland. From overpriced cider flights to wine festivals where half the crowd can’t pronounce “Cabernet,” there’s something for everyone—if by “everyone” you mean people who don’t mind paying $17 for a vegan donut. Grab your tote bag, dust off your reusable wine tumbler, and mentally prepare to be stuck in traffic behind a Subaru Outback with six bumper stickers about kindness. Because here comes Santa Cruz’s “best” food and drink events for Aug. 15–21. Friday, Aug. 15 – Farmers, Block Parties, and Lighthouse Nostalgia Watsonville Farmers Market – 2 p.m. Downtown Watsonville The Watsonville Farmers Market kicks off at 2 p.m. in downtown, where you can buy produce so fresh it still has trauma from being ripped out of the ground that morning. Yes, you’ll see tomatoes, y...

By Someone Who’s Concerned About Your Colon It’s that time of year again, folks—when the Indiana State Fair rolls around like a deep-fried juggernaut of sodium, sugar, and unapologetic Midwestern whimsy. If you thought last year’s fair food selection was aggressive, you sweet summer child, you are not prepared for pickle-fried Oreos , cotton candy ale , or a bacon honeybun burger that comes with a side of “have you checked your blood pressure lately?” Let’s dive headfirst into the mayonnaise-drenched fever dream that is the 2025 Taste of the Fair . Because nothing says “summer tradition” like sweating through 96-degree humidity while eating an entire day's worth of calories on a stick. 🥒 Pickle-Fried Oreos: Culinary Cry for Help or Genius? Some madman at Pickle Barrel looked at a golden Oreo and said, “You know what this needs? A pickle slice on top.” Then, in what I can only assume was a ranch-fueled fugue state, they deep fried the whole situation and seasoned it like i...

Ah, springtime in Baltimore. The pollen’s thick enough to suffocate a small dog, the O’s are giving us just enough hope to emotionally ruin us later, and—praise be to Dionysus—the Wine Village is back in West Shore Park, giving Marylanders another reason to drink in public without shame. Now in its third year, this pop-up German-style bacchanalia is like Oktoberfest’s floral cousin who sells essential oils but still knows how to shotgun a beer. Extended through June 1 (because you lushes clearly needed more time), the Wine Village now boasts more drink options than your cousin’s destination wedding in Cabo. From Maryland-made vinos to slushies that could send you into a diabetic coma, this year’s beverage game is strong. Or at least tipsy. Let’s unpack what’s worth sipping—and what’s just a glittery cry for help. Maryland Wines Manor: Where Local Pride Meets Poor Life Choices Let’s start with the state’s own fermented grapes because #SupportLocal, even when local tastes like regret....

Let’s be real: you didn’t come to San Diego for the weather. You came for the tacos, the sunsets, and to pretend your life isn’t falling apart while eating overpriced artisanal toast. Lucky for you, San Diego doesn’t just do sun and surf—it does food. And not just any food. We’re talking about the kind of meals that make you question why you ever settled for frozen Trader Joe’s dumplings and instant ramen. So, whether you're a local who’s tired of your usual Chipotle order or a tourist pretending your weekend getaway isn’t just a thinly veiled existential crisis, here are 15 must-try meals in San Diego this April. No, they’re not ranked, because arguing about food rankings is a full-time job I’m not emotionally prepared for. 1. Carne Asada Fries – Lolita’s Mexican Food Let’s start with the obvious. If you haven’t shoved a forkful of greasy, melty, carne-asada-topped fries into your face at 2am, do you even live, bro? Lolita’s doesn’t play. This is San Diego's crown jewel o...