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The Wheel We Needed? A Snarky Dive Into the Upcoming ‘Wheel of Time’ Open-World RPG

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Oh great, just what the world needed—another open-world RPG based on a sprawling, complex, impossible-to-translate fantasy series that thinks it's going to “honor the source material.” Get your al’Lan Mandragoran cosplays ready, because apparently The Wheel of Time is about to spin its way into the land of fetch quests, pointless side missions, and NPCs who sound like Siri after a wine tasting. That’s right, folks. According to an exclusive report from Variety (which we’re assuming means “exclusive” in the sense that only about 400 other outlets will parrot it in the next 10 minutes), a Wheel of Time video game is officially in the works. And not just any video game—oh no. A AAA open-world RPG courtesy of the newly formed iwot Games . You know it’s serious when a company that used to be called Red Eagle Entertainment rebrands with a name that sounds like a weird pharmaceutical brand and decides they’re now a “games division.” Let’s break this down. Deep breath. Sip your tea, ...

$90 Billion? That’s the Price Tag for Making America Slightly Less Hospitable

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Oh, how the mighty have fumbled the tourist bag. Once upon a time, international tourists flocked to the U.S. with a suitcase in one hand and a wad of foreign currency in the other, ready to be parted from both in the name of Disneyland, outlet malls, and a totally normal portion of pancakes. Now, thanks to the delightful fusion of tariffs, tantrums, and “America First” rhetoric that basically screams “Everybody Else Last,” foreign visitors are saying, “Nah, we’re good.” And with that, an eye-watering $90 billion in potential U.S. revenue is getting quietly yeeted into the economic void. Let’s unpack this, shall we? Welcome to America: Now With 100% More Tariffs and Side-Eye Here’s the deal: tourists from places like Canada, Germany, and the U.K.—you know, countries that used to love us despite our weird obsession with ranch dressing—are canceling their trips. Why? Because the United States is starting to look like the international equivalent of that one dinner guest who spends ...

15 Movies and TV Shows Worth Watching Right Now (So You Can Stop Doomscrolling and Start Bingeing)

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It’s April. That cruel month when you’re still pretending you’re going to “touch grass” but also increasingly glued to your couch because pollen is a terrorist and everyone you know has decided to become a “runner.” You, however, are choosing joy . And by joy, I mean television. And movies. And copious amounts of snacks that whisper, you’re valid for not leaving the house today. Thankfully, 2025 is already delivering some unreasonably good screen content to drown in, whether you want trauma, murder, prestige satire, or a sentient chicken riding a Minecraft pig. (Yes, really. Stick around.) So here are 15 things to glue your eyeballs to right now. No, not someday. Now. Because your spring wardrobe can wait, and let’s be real—you weren’t going to organize your spice rack anyway. 1. Sinners Where to watch: Theaters This is Ryan Coogler in full “I’m tired of making Marvel money and want to scare Sundance” mode. Sinners is an operatic, genre-jumping megaton of a film that feels like ...

Artificial Intelligence Can Now ‘Reason’ With Images — Because Apparently, Your Printer Still Can’t

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Let me paint you a picture. Not a digital one, because OpenAI already beat me to that — and apparently, their new software can reason through images now. Not "recognize," not "describe," not "label with a healthy margin of error," but reason. That’s right, ChatGPT’s new multimodal brainchild has leveled up from “Dora the Explorer” to “Sherlock Holmes with a GPU.” Or so they want us to believe. Welcome to 2025, where the hottest AI news is that OpenAI dropped something called o3 and o4-mini — and no, that’s not a sequel to “Ocean’s Eleven,” although George Clooney reasoning his way through a diamond heist would arguably be more entertaining. These two new models are allegedly capable of thinking — sorry, reasoning — through both text and images. Let’s dig into this, because “AI reasoning with images” is a phrase that deserves the same skeptical squint you give to someone who says they’re “between jobs” but spends 10 hours a day in a VR headset. First, ...

Academy Sports Wants to Save Underserved Kids One Branded Ball at a Time

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By Someone Who’s Seen This Marketing Playbook Before Look out, America — a new champion of youth has arrived. Academy Sports + Outdoors, your local everything-store for camo, cleats, and collapsible grills, has decided it’s time to save the children. Not all children, mind you. Just the underserved ones. Preferably the ones who look photogenic on social media next to NFL players holding up shopping bags. Yes, you read that right: Academy Sports has heroically partnered with the Boys & Girls Clubs of America to make sports and the outdoors “more available” to kids in underprivileged communities. Because apparently the biggest thing standing between inner-city kids and personal fulfillment is a lack of branded soccer balls and playtime with former high school mascots turned assistant coaches. So grab your Gatorade, pull up your folding chair, and get ready to watch corporate America do the inspirational version of the Cha-Ching Cha-Cha. “Fun for All” (But Especially for Public ...

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One: An 8-Year-Old, a Grocery Store, and America’s Safety Net Walk Into a Meijer

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Once upon a time, in the snow-glazed paradise known as Northern Michigan, an 8-year-old child was sent grocery shopping alone. No, this isn’t the opening scene of a dystopian reboot of Home Alone. This is real life, 2025-style. A concerned cashier in Traverse City did what any functioning adult in a semi-functioning society might do—they called the cops. Now, before you start picturing a pint-sized criminal mastermind loading up on Lunchables and absconding on a scooter, let me assure you: this wasn’t an attempted theft, a YouTube prank, or some “kidpreneur” project for school credit. This was survival. Pure and simple. And somehow, the news media served it to us like it was a feel-good story . Brace yourself. It’s time to dissect this mess with sarcasm, side-eye, and some uncomfortable truths. Because nothing says "great job, society!" like an elementary schooler buying dinner while the state pats itself on the back for dropping off some diapers. Chapter 1: It Was a Col...

🚀 How the United States Became a Science Superpower — and How It’s Now Being Reverse-Engineered by Idiots with Scissors

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Ah, the United States of America: land of the free, home of the brave, and proud inventor of the nuclear bomb, GPS, CRISPR, and TikTok dances we try to forget. For most of the last century, the U.S. has been the indisputable global juggernaut of science, research, and innovation. But before we polish our Nobel Prizes and inject ourselves with one last mRNA flex, we might want to ask a not-so-fun question: how fast can this whole house of innovation cards fall apart? Spoiler alert: faster than a Florida book ban hearing. Let’s rewind. Back in the day — like, the “Nazis are ruining everything” kind of day — America had a choice. Either keep building tanks like it's 1917 or invest in smart nerds with chalkboards and chemical weapons knowledge. Thankfully, a brilliant man named Vannevar Bush (no relation to any Bushes who later confused Iraq with existential purpose) convinced President Roosevelt that science wasn’t just useful — it was necessary. War wouldn’t be won by biceps alon...